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Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Drawing the Reader in

Can you see this? Feel this?

The walk was made in companionable silence, each of them lost in their own thoughts. A slight breeze blew over them, carrying with it an autumn nip. Brightly colored leaves in ranges of orange and yellow, rained down around them, carpeting the sidewalk. Jo sniffed. A fireplace burned, bringing to mind childhood memories of popcorn and marshmallows at her grandmother's house. Somewhere, a lawnmower roared, its sound muffled by distance.


Robin Caroll said...

Can see it, smell it, hear it....but pull me in more...."walk was made"...weak.....strengthen it to make the reader a PART of the story....

Linda Potter said...

I have two non-fiction books Stop Calm down and Depression is a Hard Road They are not selling. I'm new writer I guess. It is good but sometimes you not you authors can be too detailed. That's only my opinion. I am no expert